Boyfriend? NOPE.

I just turned 24...no, that's not old. But we all have plans when we're kids. So...when I was, I don't know maybe 14, I always thought it would be...finish high school, go to college, graduate in 4 years. Get a job within about 3 months of graduation....while I continue my serious relationship with the guy I fell in love with in college, we both get jobs, he proposes, we get married, buy a house, then BOOM, I'm pregnant with my first child at 26. Sounds like the perfect plan right? Lets see here....I'm 24, 2 years late on my degree, and I have no boyfriend, so being pregnant at 26 might turn out to be a disaster if I keep going like I'm going lol. So its safe to say that this little plan of mine....yeah uhhh not so much. About 6 months ago, it hurt my feelings that I was nowhere near where I wanted to be. But now, I'm okay with it. Everything happens for a reason, and I think I needed to be shaken up a little bit. You have no idea how much more I'll appreciate my degree when I get it.

I could be like everybody else and just have a boyfriend to have one. But no. I have standards. We all do. But I'm talking about the standards I have for MYSELF. If I met a guy, and we started dating and he wanted to take me home to his mom...what could he tell her about me? Where does she work son? Oh she's kind of in transition right now. Oh ok, does she go to school son? No mom, shes "taking a break." Well what does she wanna do with her life? Shes not real sure right now. WTF. If that was my son...I'd be like, ok so what the hell do you have her for??? Being brutally honest....all I can offer a man right now is good conversation and sex. I have my own place, but I don't offer that to men unless they're paying rent so that doesn't really count. I just can't roll like that. I need to be able to do things for myself before I can demand that I have a man that is also able to do things for himself. Thats something I require of a man. I want you to have a job, a car, some money. Not so you can take care of me....so you can take care of yourself. Because I don't want to. So...guess what that means? Until I'm happy with where I am....I'll never be secure and happy with another person. I have to take this time for ME. To get WHITNEY back on track. I dont even WANNA date. I'm ok with being single. Sure sometimes you want somebody to lay with and blah blah blah. But I'd much rather go to work lol. I'd much rather be so busy that I get off work, go straight to school, grab a bite to eat, come home, study, party once a week, church on Sunday and try real hard to find time for a date.

But like I said, everything happens for a reason. This has been a humbling experience for me and I've learned alot. Hopefully tomorrow, I'm given the opportunity to have this period in my life come to an end. But we'll see. I'm hot as hell, and tired as hell....so tomorrow....hopefully I'll have some happy shit to blog about.